5 Steps to Dealing with Envy

We’ve all felt green, there’s no doubt about it. Envy is something I struggled with for a long time. Jealousy would creep out from the shadows starting from when I was a child up until even this past week. I like to think that it’s a natural “unconscious” reaction, but what’s most important is dealing with it in a healthy way.

So from someone who has struggled with jealousy and built happiness from it – here are my 5 top tips to deal with it.

1) Evaluate the situation.

What are you jealous of? Is it a friend’s new purse, someone’s new outfit? A job that you wish you could have? Really think about why you’re feeling this way and what is causing the jealousy.

2) Is it something you can achieve yourself?

If this is a situation where someone owns something you don’t, or is at a place in life that you aren’t quite at yet, can you get there? Maybe they’re further along in the same job industry and you want to be at their level. Maybe their lifestyle is something you wish you could live. Can you obtain this in the future? If so, what steps can you take to achieve this? If not, what is holding you back?

3) Write about it.

Privately, of course. If you are feeling an overwhelming sense of envy, my all time favourite thing to do is write. I have a journal solely for negative feelings. Write letters that you’ll never send, or just vent. Get it all out. Write until you can’t write anymore, if you need to use foul words, by all means do. And once you’re done writing…don’t read it. I mean, you can re-read it if you’d like to of course. But for me personally, I have rarely ever re-read one of these entries. Writing it out is a way of releasing the negative energy, and I don’t want to give it a way to come back in.

4) Turn the feeling into positive energy.

I know, this ones a tough one. Especially if the envy is stemming from an emotional place. But this is hands down the most important step. Use this envy as motivation. Use it as fuel to your fire to project you in the direct you’re wanting to go. Use it to save your money, make changes to your lifestyle, better yourself. Whichever way you can turn it into a positive vibe – do it.

5) Take some time, and re-evaluate.

Give it a few days, or a few weeks, and re-evaluate the situation. Was this something worth feeling envious over? If yes, what steps are you taking to push yourself forward so that you are not dwelling in this feeling. If it was just a “heat of the moment” type of thing, well that’s great! But maybe now think about how you can control these types of feelings in the future so that you don’t have to go through the jealousy again.

If you’re still struggling with dealing with the overwhelming weight of envy, I strongly suggest checking out this book ­– The Power of Now. (Hey, even if you’re not still struggling, I still think you’ll love it). Eckhart really gets deep into the reasoning’s behind unconscious thoughts such as envy, and how to control your reactions so that your feelings of envy are limited and some day non-existent. You can order the book here.

Let me know if these steps helped you! Please pass it along to whomever you feel would benefit from turning these negative emotions into positive ones.


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I'm Cara O'Donnell, and utilizing my personalized Journey Home Method, I help growing families in Edmonton effortlessly transition from their first to forever home. I'm a mom, real estate investor, and licensed REALTOR® with eXp Realty. I can't wait to help you on your journey home! 



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